Resend: The Wk of 4/30/26 Just BC There’s a Storm

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I have a good friend who tends to mirror my darker seasons (bless her, she’s a big watery-feeling Pisces). I call her my “dark & twisty sister” (I think I got that, years ago, from Grey’s Anatomy). She left me a voice memo recently describing some of her dark season. After I memo-ed her back, she responded: “Dude, What in the world have you done? It’s like night and day. What got you out of the shit pile?” I told her that the emotional/psychic weight had gotten impossibly heavy. And my inside reserves became so limited that I finally had to take my total health more seriously than I ever have. I told her that I reached out (fearfully & reluctantly) to helpers old & new. And I re-devoted myself to consistent practice: daily and nightly meditation practices that balance my particular, shall we say, brand of chaos/patterning; energization exercises, physical and psychic diet changes a.k.a. a revamping of my entire holistic wellness (bod, heart, mind, archetypal, divine…past life shit, inner child shit, multi-dimensional shit. The whole dang thang!). The old stuff I had been doing was no longer helping. I had to upgrade, and I needed outside support to help me get there. I can do a lot on my own, but i cannot, in fact, see my own blindspots. I’m putting a lot of time toward it. A lot of energy. A lot of money. I am now literally my own priority. If I’m not right inside, things aren’t right outside. Out of the several team members I’m working with, one in particular likes to say to me, “Erika, God helps those who help themselves.” This same dude that said that to me many moons ago continues to be right about that. And, I want to live in a world where that is true.  And so I do.

I don’t remember who I heard say the following this week, but it’s a goodin: “Just because there’s a storm outside, doesn’t mean there has to be a storm inside.” Well snap. I do love a good truism. Some of us humans, however,  just won’t budge without enough of that alchemical cocktail of pain and irritation. Maybe it’s my Taurus moon. Who knows. Speaking of which, we are in Scorpio full moon energy right now. Scorpio can be an intensely emotional/transformational sign, and for those of you sensitive to these larger lunations and are familiar with your own astrological make-up, tune IN (read that again). My current intuition is telling me that there is no getting away from looking at and transmuting the old stuff that is keeping us stuck.We cannot run (I tried…multiple times!) and we cannot hide (a favorite pastime) and all of our old distractions are losing steam. Mary O. muses below: “Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us, even in the leafless [inner] winter […]”. & yes, some of these lessons are fucking hard. But we gotta choose our hard. One keeps us stuck & sick. One grows our wings. 

I’ll keep saying it: I love hearing from so many of you throughout the week. I do not, however, like that so many are going through it (divorce, death, break ups,  job loss, addiction, identity loss, old strong shame patterning biting at you hard!, not feeling seen or heard, feeling like a failure, terrified of money & lack thereof, embarrassed, lost, and trying to hide all of this human stuff we ALL have in common). It cannot be hidden any longer. All is coming to light. It’s happening in larger systems & individually. It’s paaaiiiinful at times, but its a good and necessary thing. I promise. Our souls are here to evolve. Period.  The light is near. Keep going. And seek help for the blind spots. You. Are. Worth. It. It may sound like cheese, but it’s darn True cheese & it must be said. 

I love you Cheeseheads all so much. The time to fly is nigh…

ek

ps, see some of you soon:

Thursdays, 3 PM FLOW, and…

also  4:30 pm Flow & Chill at Flow Yoga North Loop (5501N Lamar Blvd)

(**always check Flow Yoga North Loop & Westgate online class schedules for last minute schedule changes. Also, last minute sub opportunities arrive throughout the week that I cover).

Chunky and noisy,

but with stars in their black feathers,
they spring from the telephone wire
and instantly

they are acrobats
in the freezing wind.
And now, in the theater of air,
they swing over buildings,

dipping and rising;
they float like one stippled star
that opens,
becomes for a moment fragmented,

then closes again;
and you watch
and you try
but you simply can’t imagine

how they do it
with no articulated instruction, no pause,
only the silent confirmation
that they are this notable thing,

this wheel of many parts, that can rise and spin
over and over again,
full of gorgeous life.

Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us,
even in the leafless winter,
even in the ashy city.
I am thinking now
of grief, and of getting past it;

I feel my boots
trying to leave the ground,
I feel my heart
pumping hard. I want

to think again of dangerous and noble things.
I want to be light and frolicsome.
I want to be improbably beautiful and afraid of nothing,
as though I had wings.