Resend: The Wk of 6/18/26 Apple Tree

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If you too are in experiencing an unwelcome, uncomfortable, unexplainable, confusing spot in your life, may the reading below provide you some perspective, and therefore, solace. 

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There’s a little apple tree outside my kitchen window. And you know, I get apples from that tree. And there’s seeds in those apples. And I can stand in my kitchen looking at the seed which is real little and the apple tree is not huge but it’s bigger than the seed. Within this seed is that apple tree. I mean, there’s no logic. There’s no logical way that this seed looks like the apple tree, but I know it is. But for that seed to become the apple tree, there are countless steps that it has to takeand no amount of impatience or exhorting the seed or criticizing it or punishing it for not being an apple tree will help. You can’t skip one stage. And in fact, an effort to skip a stage will kill the possibility of it becoming a tree and you’ll have to start over with another seed. So this is this strange balance that we all have to find within ourselves. 
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I myself am experiencing very challenging (& ongoing for many weeks) physical symptoms. Almost 7 years ago I was leading a retreat to Nepal and I was SICK (same symptoms as I’m having now). It was at that time that was mom was dying, and I thought that perhaps I had “sympathy pains” of sorts, or my system was trying to carry some of the load of her illness. Perhaps? Then my brain leaps onto another branch: ya know, oddly enough, these are symptoms my father had when he was very ill at age 46, (18 days away for me). He did not survive that illness. Am I finishing processing something that mom & dad could not?

Or…or…every 7 years we regenerate our entire body (all cells are new). Yes, that must be it. It’s just yet ANOTHER total rebirth. 

All guesses.  How can I know for sure. It’s interesting to my mind to guess, but it’s a guess. 

And the guesses feel better than: what did I do wrong (an old conditioned trope that continues to haunt my mind). 

The bottom line: life is gonna life. We are the co-pilot, meaning, we have SOME control. Some. And we do what we can with that. 

But instead of hitting myself with some second arrow of “what am I doing wrong?” can I settle back, just a smidge, into a larger, unknown blueprint? 

I/we WILL, like a great tree, reach my/our highest expression. Every seed will. What if it’s a dud, Erika? Well, another seed comes forward, have ya noticed? Seems limitless….this life that moves through us/it all. 

The mind is complex. The soul is simple. Am I gonna Trust this process? Or am I gonna fight it every inch of the way?

We do have the freedom to make that choice. 

…there are countless steps that [we have] to takeand no amount of impatience or exhorting ourselves or criticizing  or punishing us for not being “better” or ‘farther along” [will help]. You can’t skip one stage. And in fact, an effort to skip a stage will kill the possibility of it becoming a tree.

Plodding along with you, one stage at a time.

I love you all and miss you when I do not see you. 

 
ek